Guidelines for Library Use.

1. Try to stay awake. Especially if you snore as this can bother others.

2. Please keep your clothes on your body. Again this can bother others.

3. Spit and various other other bodily fluids belong inside your body and not spread around the library. People could slip and fall.

4. Please be patient with your librarian. Contrary to popular opinion he/she has not read every book and may not remember the one you checked out last year that had a blue cover.

5. Librarians have lots of duties. We do not "sit around and read all day." Be respectful and say "please" and "thank you." A little courtesy goes a long way.

6. Waving a cane in a librarian's face or general threatening will not get better or faster service. It may in fact slow service down while the librarian takes the time to call security.

7. Making out, macking, snogging and other such frivolity should not be conducted in public and especially not the library. Nobody wants to see that. You don't look hot, you look desperate.

8. Dirty diapers belong in trash cans and not on bookshelves or chairs in the children's area. Ewww!When is this ever appropriate?

9. During a heightened security alert it is not a good idea to put powder in your books no matter how bad they smell. Someone might alert Homeland Security fearing anthrax.

10.The library is not a good replacement for childcare. Again, librarians are busy people and although we love children we do not know them all let alone their family members. We may not notice if your child walks off or leaves with a stranger, or looks at inappropriate internet sites, tears up books, empties shelves, or creates general mayhem.

11.While libraries are not the quiet places of yesteryear they are still not an appropraite place to have loud cell phone conversation or fights with your significant other. Nobody needs or wants to know your business.

There you have it. Just a few simple guidelines for using the library. One would think these would be common sense but people are funny that way. These are taken from stories that I have heard over the years from many people working in libraries all around the country. And believe you me there are plenty more! They do not necessarily reflect the library that I work in.